Kamusta kamo?
I don't even know how to describe this week. It's been so difficult. I'll start off with P-day last week! P-day turned out to not be such a relaxing day after all. I had District Meeting until about noon then I got to do email, which is really exciting! Even though today I didn't get an email from you! Anong natabo?! But after email we shopped and ended up getting home at about 3, where I started doing laundry for the first time by hand. That took me a really long time but Elder Tiamzon helped me out a lot. So anyways by the time I finished laundry it was already time to go to FHE that night, which turned out to be pretty uneventful. We had family home evening with the Arlante Family. They are a really nice family. 2 of the people living in that house are RMs, and Brother Toto has actually gone around and helped us teach a couple times, which I really like because he knows what he is doing. And the other night he actually gave Elder Tiamzon advice about asking questions, which I really liked, because Brother Toto said he noticed when we taught that Elder Tiamzon asked, "What is faith?" Before we even taught about faith, and then the investigators answered the question not perfectly, so Elder Tiamzon gets frustrated and doesn't know what to say for a while. I'm glad Brother Toto pointed that out because it's an important concept. We want open-ended questions!
Elder Tiamzon is a really nice Elder but basically all of the principles I've learned at the MTC that have to do with teaching are thrown out the window with him. For example, we have this one investigator that missionaries have been seeing for 3 months! But she says she still has not received an answer to her prayer to know if it's true. So basically Elder Tiamzon and his last companion have been just teaching her a book of Mormon class instead of teaching what she really needs. From what I understand, she's waiting to see a vision or have a dream telling her that these things are true. Today at Zone Meeting we did a practice teaching and I got to pretend to be an investigator. I decided to be this Sister I'm talking about and Elder Tiamzon was teaching me. I wanted him to really teach on the concern I had about not receiving my answer to my prayer. Because, just like it teaches in PMG, it's not only about what the investigator needs to be taught, it's also about what the investigator needs to feel, and what the investigator needs to do. So I focused on this concern and really tried to get Elder Tiamzon to answer it. It was tough, as an investigator I had to really try to get him to answer my concern. Finally after him teaching me for like 5 minutes he asked how my reading was. I told him okay, but I've done the things that you missionaries have asked me to do but I still haven't had a dream, so I still don't know it's true! But after that Elder Tiamzon asked me if I had questions about the church and what else I wanted to know. You see, he's trying so hard to teach to her needs and answer her questions but that's not she needs! She needs to know how the Holy Spirit works! What will she feel! Will she really have that dream?! So to try to get Elder Tiamzon to think about that I said, "Why would I want to learn about your church more if it's not true, If I still haven't had my dream?" It's difficult, like because I know that these people need to hear things but I can't say any of it to any of them! That's definitely the hardest part.
Also you know last week the Sister who said she prayed and she knew that Joseph Smith was a prophet, well she didn't go to church last week. I was doing the follow up questions, and I asked her why. She said she didn't go because she was tired! Elder Tiamzon said, "Oh well that's okay, I respect your decisions." You know, he is trying so hard to be nice and I think people do like him, but how is she ever going to get to Church if we treat the situation like that. IF THESE THINGS ARE TRUE, shouldn't we be doing them? If God himself was telling us what we need to do through His prophet, that needs to be a first priority for us, even before sleep! But we didn't let her know that. I feel awful, because I lot of these people are so close, but I can't say anything to any of them. And I wasn't too surprised when none of our investigators came to church yesterday-when we treat things that lightly. I mean I have something they need, something I know that will bless their lives, that's the entire reason I came on a mission! But I can't say it to any of them. It makes me wish I was going English speaking so much. Because language, now I know, isn't what the mission is about. It's about bringing people to Christ. And because of the language barrier, I can't do any of it. That's definitely the most difficult. I am trying so hard to explain these thoughts to Elder Tiamzon, but it's hard because like his English isn't that good, and I feel like I have no one to talk to about any of it. I know I have God though. I've never prayed so much in 1 week as I have this week. Because I know he's the only one who understands, and the only one who can give me the strength and the blessings I need to keep moving and keep doing every thing I need to do. Because I'm doing it for him, I'm doing it for his children! I'll just trust that things will work out. But I just don't want to mess things up for these people. I've talked about before how much that we as missionaries are entrusted with. We have the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we know through a living prophet the path we must take to return to our Father in Heaven, and it's our job, as little 19 year old men and 21 year old women to share the most important thing on the planet with others. I just want to do it right. I just want these people to experience all the joy that comes with living this gospel. So hopefully I can figure out how to do things the way God would have me do things.
The rest of the week we did end up teaching a few lessons. A lot of the time our investigators don't show up to appointments, so we usually go to either a new persons house and pretty much teach them the first lesson right there, because they are probably wondering what this 'white guy' is doing in Roxas. But a lot of time we just go to part-member or member's houses and talk to them, share a scripture. It's hard for me because I never know whose house is whose and who is a member or not or who is an investigator, and Elder Tiamzon doesn't really tell me before what we are going to talk about. So usually I just end up bearing my testimony at the end and hope that it had something to do with what we talked about. We also don't ever set apart time for language study but today at Zone Meeting I talked to our Zone Leader, Elder George, and he talked to Elder Tiamzon about that, so hopefully we'll be able to do all those things. Usually during companion study I talk to Elder Tiamzon about teaching skills I've learned, and relate those teaching skills to scriptures so maybe he will understand. And I use PMG a lot. I'm so grateful for the MTC because of the preparation I did there, I have an idea of what these people could need, just from there teaching record and a couple times meeting them. But like all our lessons are usually more than an hour, which is way too long. They are suppose to be like 45 minutes max. That's what PMG says. But we always spend a long time talking to them. I think that's why we miss appointments a lot because Elder Tiamzon says we just have to answer every question they have. But later during personal study I was reading from 3 Nephi, and in ch17 I think Jesus was talking to the people and he was talking about how he saw they were getting overwhelmed and they needed time to pray and ponder for understanding of the things Jesus had taught them. That really hit me because if I was there when Jesus Christ was on earth, of course I would have a lot of questions for him! Same with our investigators- the stuff we are teaching them is knew and the must have a lot of questions. But Christ knows that people need time to take it in, the ponder about it, and to pray about it. We have to have faith. We do not need to know absolutely everything about everything.
An experience I had with that is this one girl who has been taught all the lessons, but every time we talk to her about baptism she tells us she isn't ready, even though she has a testimony. After a lesson about families and the Celestial Kingdom, I was able to bear a simple testimony. I said that being here in the Philippines, it's so hard to be away from my family, and I really miss them. I can't imagine being away from them for all eternity though. But I know all see them again after this mission. And knowing that I can be with them forever means everything to me. I bore testimony that I knew Joseph Smith was a prophet, that this church was true, that there is a living prophet today who leads and guides us, and he, through God, has shown us the way to have these eternal families. By doing the little things, like reading the scriptures, praying, going to church, and being baptized. I tried my best to bear testimony to her that she doesn't need to know everything. All she needs to do is trust that God will provide a way. Trust that even though you don't know everything, it will all work out. God promised he'd do things, and even if we don't see immediate effects, he'll do them if we do our part. I was just humbly reminded how powerful a simple testimony can be, and how simple this gospel is! What were teaching isn't confusing. I know that there is a reason for everything, but even when I don't know the reason, I trust that God does, and I'll do those things for a reason.
Zone conference was today and I had the opportunity to see Elder Pettit and Elder Andrews. It was really cool, they have grown a lot and it's hard for me not to be jealous that they don't have all the same issues as me, like with obedience and not doing all our studies and our teaching problems. But they gave me a lot of comfort and it was nice to talk to them and share how I felt with someone who could actually understand me. I love them and I miss seeing them all the time. Elder Andrews gave me a bunch of language study things he's been working on which should help because I've had no idea what to study with the language. Plus with my companion I usually ask what the Ilonggo word is in Tagalog. That way I'm certain he knows. But I found out from someone in my zone that a lot of the time during lessons he is just speaking Tagalog, so I'm not so sure how solid his Ilonggo actually is. So I feel like I'm on my own a lot with that but I'm sure I'll get it eventually. Despite all these frustrations all I can really do is keep pressing forward, studying and praying for help. Actually at my last fireside at the MTC the speaker talked about the stages of a mission, and I'm pretty sure my honeymoon phase is over and right now I'm just on the grin and bear it phase. So now I know he was actually serious about these stages in the mission.
Food is pretty cool. I actually while I'm at home eat a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I'm in the city so I can find that stuff plus I have no clue how to make anything else. I have no idea what foods I should buy at the store but I'm sure I'll get it eventually. The weird things I've eaten is Chicken Blood, yeah blood, and chicken intestine. They weren't too bad. The chicken blood to make it they like mix the blood with vinegar and it becomes solid. Then they grill it. It was weird to eat. Chicken intestine wasn't too bad. I liked it. I can't really explain it. Then I still haven't really had too many fruits! One investigator gave us some jackfruit. It was good, I thought it would be sweeter than it was, but I haven't really had anything too sweet or too juicy yet. Then we have a lot of fish. One day we even had crab, which was sweet and it's so cheap here.
That's a lot that I've written to you! I'm sorry theres a lot on my mind and I never get to talk to anyone in English! But I want you all to know how much I love you and miss you. I did get your dear Elders about like Jared's schedule and Becca's reading and classes and about Dad going to the gym at 5 in the morning. So thank you for those. I really felt really happy today and comforted through those dear Elders and talking to E. Pettit and Andrews. I'm jealous that I'm not with them, but I guess I need to trust that the Lord put me here for a reason. I hope I can do the things he wants me to do. Thank you so much for all your prayers, I can really use them, but so can our investigators so don't forget about them. I love you so much and I want you to know I pray for you too. I miss doing things with you. After church yesterday I imagined going home and just like eating waffles as a family and remembered how happy it made me. And then just sitting around talking. I mean back then it never seemed like that big of a deal but now I realize how much I miss it and miss you. It's so hard. I miss you so much. But I'm here for a reason. I have a purpose. I love you all. I can't say that enough. Thank you so much for being who you are and I can't wait to see you again.
love,
Joshua
Elder Burton
p.s.
A cultural thing here is that people always say, "hey, where are you going?" They even say that in English. And like that might be rude in America, but here all you have to say is like, "Didto." Which means over there or whatever. I told you about people saying , "Hey Joe!" to me all the time I think, but another thing is all the Filipinos tell me that I have a big nose. So I say "Kilala mo si Mr. Bean?" Is what one elder told me to say. Just because nobody here has a big nose. I also always hit my head on things all the time. sometimes when I do I think I'm going to destroy the house I walk into, because in a lot of them the bamboo floors move. But I always turn out okay. Kids are actually my favorite to talk to. They keep me going through the day. You can tell Riley that she would love the kids here, but I probably can't bring one home with me so she can play with her. There are times when I'm walking down the street and I turn around and there is like 15 kids following me around. It's awkward, like i'm a movie star or something, but I guess it's a way of finding people to talk to. Like you said, it's not hard to find people to talk to. There is also a lot of dogs everywhere, which is cool, but they are definitely the scariest. Tell mom that I am not really using the raincoat because even when it's raining it's still burning hot. A member actually picked up an umbrella for me so I wouldn't have to wait till P-day and told me it's for 4 things.
1. Rain
2. When it's hot, I can use for shade
3. For beating off dogs when they come chasing me.
4. For beating off drunk people
I'm pretty sure some of it was a joke but I was grateful he gave it to me. Well I have to go but I love you! I'll try to make this week great.
Elder Burton
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